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Bart the General
The Simpsons Season 01, Episode 05
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
Homer gives useful advice to Bart about butt-kissing. "It's the three roads to success, Bart: work, brains, and ..."
This episode introduces Nelson Muntz. He's much more threatening now than he is in later episodes.
Homer enumerates the code of the schoolyard: "Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do." I guess some things never change. Homer is self-aware enough to know that the Simpsons need to fight dirty.
Ha! Abe Simpson lives at the retirement home on the "second floor, third dank room on the left". Also, does he always wear a bolo tie? I don't think I'd noticed that before.
Herman warns Bart about keeping his arms inside a bus. This is the second time he's been warned about it.
Nelson's goons/friends in this episode are pretty lame. It's a good thing he trades up for Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph in later episodes. "We were only following orders!" one of the loser kids says. Indeed.
The classic sailor kissing a girl after victory is announced snapshot is great.
CONCLUSION
This is another one of the early Bart-centric episodes and it's a classic. I'm a fan of the training montage. Bart gives his attempt at a PSA at the end of the episode, ending with "Peace, man". As the series progresses, the clear hero of the show becomes Homer, and its audience grows beyond kids. But I remember being a kid and wearing the Bartman shirt in the first few years of the series and this episode epitomizes that era of the Simpsons.
THIS EPISODE'S RATINGS
 5/5 donuts from Statler
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RATINGS LEGEND
 = LAME
= BAD
= MEH
= GOOD
= CLASSIC
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PLOT SUMMARY FROM WIKIPEDIA
Lisa bakes a batch of cupcakes for her teacher and Bart demands one. She says no, and Bart calls her a butt kisser. After an apology on the school bus, Lisa gives Bart the cupcake she dropped on the floor when the bus jolted, and he eats it none the wiser. When they get off the bus, Lisa was going to offer her friend Janey one. However, the cupcakes are snatched by one of Nelson Muntz's buddies and he stomps on them when Bart asks for them back. Bart jumps at the kid but Nelson shows up and holds Bart up by his neck, questioning his bravery. Bart persists to struggle and accidentally hits Nelson on the nose which makes him start bleeding. After, Bart attempts to shrug it all off, but is treated as a hero. After school, Nelson and his buddies beat Bart to a bloody pulp and dump him into a trash can, which he then rolls down a hill, stopping at his front door and coughing out his hat.
At home, Bart goes into the bathtub and Homer comes in, blasting a hairdryer into his face to dry his tears. Bart tells Homer and Marge about the bully, and Homer advises Bart to fight dirty, while Marge suggests that he tell Principal Skinner. Homer pressures Bart to fight, while Marge suggests reasoning with Nelson. Homer dismisses Marge's advice and has Bart face a punching bag. Disapproving of Bart's fighting skills, Homer jumps on top of the bag and shakes it around in an attempt to beat it up, going as far as biting a piece off, while Bart looks on. Homer then reassures Bart that he should "fight dirty," saying that it is okay every now and then. Bart confronts Nelson and at first throws mud in his eyes which enrages Nelson. Bart tries to fight but is once again, mauled by Nelson. This time, he turns to the toughest member of the Simpson family, Grampa Simpson, as suggested by Lisa.
Grampa introduces Bart to Herman, a veteran who runs an army surplus store. Herman tells Bart to declare war on Nelson and instructs him on a full-assault strategy, while Bart thinks Herman is crazy. Bart gathers other kids from school who have been traumatized by Nelson and enlists them as troops. After a long training program, the troops go marching one by one. Cornering Nelson and his buddies, they start firing numbers of water balloons. Terrorized and outnumbered, the bullies surrender. Nelson is taken prisoner, but he threatens to kill Bart as soon as he is released, and mentions that Bart will have to untie him sometime. So afterwards, Herman drafts an armistice, which Bart and Nelson agree to sign-Nelson will stop beating kids up but will still be a figure of terror to them. Marge enters with cupcakes, and peace prevails. The episode ends with a disclaimer in which Bart explains why wars, with the exceptions of the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy, are never justified.
Accessed from Wikipedia on Feb. 20, 2010